The cruel tweet sparked a backlash, but it seems only the natural consequence of the way that gay men are told communicate with and categorise each other from the moment we take our first “thirst trap” selfie. In a tweet which went viral this week, a Twitter user felt compelled to remind gay men with a waist larger than 32 inches that “floral prints just aren’t for” them.
Even now, years older and in a relationship, I still feel uncomfortable taking my top off in front of people. Just like when someone at school would say “that’s so gay” to describe something defective or unwanted, this stung every time, but was even worse as the feeling of rejection was being inflicted by members of my own community. One of those pretty boys walked into our lives just a few weekends ago. Your internal monologue is starting to piss me off. You can see it on his face, and it is cute, even if it makes me go all wiggy-giggy in the dad part of my brain. I can’t tell you the amount of times I was blocked without explanation after sending a photo of my body. Slim, fit, dark-haired boys with strikingly pretty faces just set his heart all aflutter. As I developed dark body hair, I was repeatedly told that this was not desirable on a young, slim man like me. The culture of apps such as Grindr left me craving objectification, even though I knew it was harming me.
The fetishisation of twinks leaves many gay men desperate to preserve their bodies and youth.
